How to write your Wedding Vows - Honolulu Oahu Hawaii Wedding Photographer
When writing the words you wish to stand up and say to the love of your life on the day you marry in front of your closest family and friends, it’s quite natural to draw a blank. The importance of what you utter at that moment seems so important that it can turn into a seriously daunting task.
But don’t stress. Your Oahu wedding photographer wants you to know something:
At Johanna Dye photography, I got you.
With all the best ideas for promising yourself to your partner for life, along with some that are better left for another time, I’m here to help you write your best vows, so you can get back to planning your best destination wedding.
DO: SET EXPECTATIONS
Have a conversation with your main squeeze about tone so you’re both on the same page.
If one person’s vows are lengthy and formal, and the others are super short and casual,
it may feel disjointed and not mesh well.
It is also a good idea to share your opinions about what is and what is not
appropriate to share at your ceremony.
The last thing you want your partner to feel on your wedding day is shame.
DO: COMPLIMENT YOUR VENUE
If you are tying the knot in a super casual outdoor/beach ceremony where the vibe is
decidedly relaxed, use a voice that sounds the way you speak in everyday life.
However, if your vows will be spoken in a more traditional or formal setting like
a church, it is respectful to use a more formal voice.
DON’T:BE A CONTROL FREAK
Trying to control exactly what your partner will say is crossing the line. While coordinating
style or tone is okay if it’s something you want to do, let your partner be in
charge of what they will say.
Conversely, if you’re thinking of mentioning something that might embarrass your partner,
just don’t. Or at least ask their permission.
DON’T:TAKE IT TO EXTREMES
Even in the most casual Hawaii Wedding setting, remember that you are entering into one of the
most important agreements of your life. Coming off as overly casual can give the impression
that you don’t take this commitment seriously.
Similarly, while in a religious setting you may feel like you need to use the same vernacular as
your pastor, rabbi, priest, or chaplin, overly formal speech can sound forced if you’re not used to it.
You still want to sound like yourself.
DO:FIND A TEMPLATE
Look up vows on the internet and find the ones that speak to you.
If you’re having a religious ceremony, it makes sense to utilize the main points of traditional
vows for your chosen faith. You can use traditional vows as your guide, and add personal
touches from there.
If your family -or your partner’s- culture has any customs or traditions regarding a wedding,
take a look at them and decide if you wish to include or make reference to
these in your vows.
DO: MAKE IT PERSONAL
Consider adding a short story, memory, or making reference to an inside joke.
In addition to the sweeping generalization of loving them forever, adding personal promises
specific to your individual relationship add a special touch.
DON’T:USE COOKIE-CUTTER VOWS
If you are thinking of taking generic or example vows and just regurgitating them using
slightly different verbiage, it will likely feel disingenuous.
Consider referencing an inside joke, telling a story, reciting a quote or poem, or making
a promise specific to your relationship.
DON’T: GET TOO PERSONAL
You can make your own, ahem, bedroom or private promises on your own time. Your partner or your guests may become uncomfortable if things get too graphic. Remember there are
mothers, grandmothers, or great Auntie Violas in the crowd.
And yes, this does happen.
DO: PRACTICE OUT LOUD
I know it seems corny, but recording yourself reciting your vows out loud or to a trusted
friend beforehand will help your words find a more natural flow and give you an
idea of what works and what doesn’t. Take the time to become
comfortable with your vows.
DO: PREPARE PROFESSIONAL NOTES
Draft a nice easily readable copy of your main points on quality card stock (or print it out and
paste it to the cardstock). Try not to use full sentences, but instead
jot notes you can understand. Have a set-up person put them out before
the ceremony where they can be easily accessed at the right time.
DON’T:READ YOUR VOWS OR GO IN WITHOUT BACK-UP
You should be familiar enough with your talking points that you can look at your spouse-to-be
for the majority of your speech.
On the other hand, even if you have the entire thing memorized, you may draw a
blank when the pressure is on.
DON’T:PULL A CRUMPLED WAD OF PAPER OUT OF YOUR POCKET
This is another thing that can make it appear as though you aren’t taking your vows seriously.
Sure, you can make last minute changes if you need to, but using professional
notes makes the event feel pulled together.
If you can manage to follow these dos and don’ts by taking tone cues, playing to your strengths, and being yourself, you’ll be well on your way to bring tears to your partner’s eyes...the happy kind.
Don’t forget, that though you and your partner may both be a blubbering mess come vow time, Your Hawaii wedding photographer will make you flawless in all your shots.
Happy Writing! xo’s
Aloha, I am Jojo!
I’m a Wedding Photographer in Hawaii,
passionate about love + making wedding planning
easy and stress free
& I am so glad you’re here!